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master of the lied

by hugo wolf

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1.
what am i doing with my life if you're not here by my side hello? i don't wanna come inside i'm not like the other guys i'll say hi i'll be nice i'll say hi i'll be nice ignore all the times i wanted to cry and things will be all right i hope you're still by the highway signs i'll say bye i'll be nice i'll say bye i'll be nice i hope you're still all right
2.
a trip to the city maybe to forget all of the pain and regret you said you loved me but that was never true threw me out like trash all my other chances blew the weeks keep on passing and i find myself stuck in the same places trapped in some hell i wish i'd remember that nothing ever lasts of course i forgot and now look where i've ended the highway roads the different fonts the bright ass lights and scorching sun i guess i could say sorry and i really want to i hate that you know that so i'll just hide away the weeks keep on passing and i find myself stuck in the same places trapped in some hell i wish I'd remember that nothing ever lasts but look where i've ended and see for yourself only with a broken nose to show
3.
couldn't see straight with you blocking my view i wish we coulda done something to save you and here i lay like things are going fine even though i know everything's a lie so many great things to do with life but oh, the luck isn't by my side i guess i only gotta try but what if I fall back to the sky? i guess i only gotta try but what if i have to say good-bye? why do i feel so heartbroken even though i'm not even in love you know i know all of the right answers i just don't wanna admit it to myself and why do i feel like i wanna cry even though i know things are gonna be just fine and why do i feel like i wanna cry even though i know you're all my by side and maybe just give it a couple more years 'cause do you really wanna die?
4.
i'll wait here for hours though that's not really true you don't know that i love you but i've been so blue i'm sorry that this happened it was never supposed to and please don't love me back even if i want to i'd like to think that you're so much better than me or at least i think that all of them are better i'm sorry that this happened it was never supposed to and please don't love me back even if i want to you're just so painfully unattainable
5.
out there, black pavement drove past millburn out there, concrete walls goin' through stop in fort lee and palisades park grab some soup dumplings on the road again i miss you, new jersey i miss you, the lancers i'm really sorry that you're my never meant past ridgewood past edison way past the rut, town center, here i go sometimes i wonder why i love you maybe only because i live so far away i miss you, new jersey i miss you, the lancers i'm really sorry that you're my never meant and i've never been to mamaroneck, new york new jersey's the place it's always been
6.
i swear i'll ruin my life chasing what isn't mine. always pulling out my hair, pretending i care, and i swear, i'll fall for anyone if you just let me. and my dreams will only be true when i'm dreaming, and i'll never get to play the part, i'll never get to hold it in my arms. a body that isn't mine, and i will always contradict everything i am. everything i wanna be. i wanna be great. i wanna be great, i wanna be great. i wanna be great. i do random ass shit, and i'll probably regret it. the melodies in my head, could be someone else's instead. i am nothing more than my dreams, and they will always haunt me. but i am armed with a guitar, and i swear they'll be scared. and hey, think of me, when you're done with thinkin' 'bout everythin'. i don't believe i'll find the one, i don't believe i'll ever be done. when everything ends i hope i'll see you, waiting even though there's nothing left to wait for. do i even know what i want, know what i want. yeah, yeah you do

about

'master of the lied'
maybe hugo wolf was the master of the lied, but i am the master of nothing
a collection of songs. you could call them demos i guess but they sound pretty finished to me
thanks for listening

you could lump me into that group of 'singer-songwriters' but i'm the antithesis of that. that's what i believe, at least. someone once told me that singer-songwriters are always better at one thing than the other. but i don't think that (just the idea of being a singer-songwriter) applies to me at all. i just write songs and happen to be the one to sing them. there is nothing more to it than that
then why do i sing? because it would be weird if someone else sang my personal songs i wrote about me. wouldn't it be? like if i spent just all my time writing the guitar part and then the words about things in my life that i've been thinking about, and then only for the words to come out of someone else's mouth? also it is logistically way easier to finish a song and then just be able to record it right then and there
(not saying i don't want people to cover my songs, feel free too — i'm saying that if i wrote personal songs about my life solely for another person to sing, it would be real weird)
why do i write? because i want songs to play that have this special personal-ness to me and me only, and there's some creative drive i feel deep in me. it's not like i couldn't play other people's songs — i do. but i have also spent so long playing other people's songs. the point of building this persona as 'hugo wolf' (i am sorry i stole your name, Mr Wolf, you will always be a better writer than i am), is to be able to express *my* thoughts, ideas, whatever, that came out of *my* head, and not just endlessly interpret other people's.
thanks again for being here
xx

credits

released April 9, 2023

thanks to matt and amanda for helping with the files

photo and name taken from the third edition of harold c. schonberg's the lives of the great composers

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stupid songs from a stupid person in a stupid place

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